Social Skills on the Decline

While sitting in the living room with my children I noticed they were both fixated on their cell phones.  One would giggle, then the other.  They were sitting beside each other yet instead of speaking to each other, they are texting back and forth.  Was it a big secret they didn’t want me to hear?  No!  They were merely deciding what to do after supper!  A simple conversation that did not need privacy yet neither opened their mouths nor made eye contact with the other; instead, the phones were their choice of communication.

We as adults are guilty of the same thing.  Rarely do you receive a phone call from a friend or family member asking a question.  Instead, they text it, wait for a reply, then text back another response, wait again.  This can go on and on for quite some time when it often would have taken less time to pick up the phone and place a call.

In fact, most people nowadays don’t even answer if they receive a call as they prefer texting!  There is a ton of miscommunication and misunderstandings between people through texting as a text message cannot express emotion.  The receiver of a message may feel you are being rude or flippant simply by reading your words in a tone you were not trying to project. 

Reading body language and listening to a person’s voice is how we interpret others' feelings.  If you ask someone how they are doing by text message and they reply with “I’m fine” (a term we use constantly, even when we are screaming inside) we cannot see or hear their true emotions.  Perhaps they just found out they are losing their job.  Feeling like a complete failure, and they really need someone to talk to but don’t want to text all the details, so they pass off an “I’m fine”.  Without seeing their facial expressions or hearing their tone one would never know that “I’m fine” really means “talk me down from this ledge I feel stuck on”.

We are missing so much in our relationships with others when we choose to text over speaking.  The joy of a full-bellied laugh between friends turns into an LOL.  The smile on our son’s face turns into a colon and a bracket  : )

Next time your mom, friend or child texts you with “I’m fine”, use your phone to actually call them and listen.  Let’s bring back the humanity in our communication and focus on the people and relationships in our lives instead of our screens!!



“People have entire relationships via text message now, but I am not partial to texting. I need context, nuance and the warmth and tone that can only come from a human voice.”

Danielle Steel



Written by: Bobbi - Lynne McGarry